If wedding planning has taught me anything, it has taught me the importance of knowing who your friends are. I think when people think of friends, different meanings come to mind. I am talking about the people you call when you are depressed, happy, angry, or bored.
When I first wrote up my guest list, I had images of being reunited with old college friends, old high school friends, and present good time friends. Don't get me wrong, I would have a fabulous time with these people, but in the grand schemes of being budge conscious; somethings gotta give.
It was really hard in the beginning. I couldn't take off my old college friends who I never speak to except for the occasional facebook comment. I am plagued amnd guilted by old memories of all nighters, trips to Wawa in the middle of the night, tearful confessions about stupid ass boys, and etc. They were part of life that helped shape who I am today and part of me feels guilted into inviting them to my big day. But in reality, I have no idea what they are doing these days, who they are dating, or if they have a job. Did they follow the dreams we discussed in our dorm rooms or did they follow a completely different path?
Then I was confronted with people whom I am aquaintances with throughout my life and for some reason I feel like I MUST invite this person to my wedding. Their names appear on the guest list to my bridal shower even though in reality we have never chatted on the phone, never did anything that remotely resembled friendly-like.
I then had to choose between my current graduate school friends and my newly found good time friends. My graduate school friends studied with me in the library all night long, they dragged me to houkkah bars to unwind, they bought me food or vice versa when money was clearly not there. My good time friends only call me when they want to go out or meet boys or are bored. They have never celebrated my birthday with me, nor did they grace my new apartment with their prescence.
Seriously, I was conflicted and then my photographer/graphic designer said something profound to me; "Nobody has that many friends."
Although I like to think that I really am that popular, I realized she was right. When I am aching to hang out with my girlfriends, half of these people don't even come to mind. So why the hell am I spending money for them to come to my wedding?
Needless to say I cut that list quick! There are still some people who won't be invited, that I would like to come for sentimental reasons, but I'll get over it. For my special day and for the rest of my life, I would like to be surrounded by friends who are forever and not just those who are just there for the "moment". I'm just glad I can sleep soundly at night with out dreams of guest lists trying to kill me.
2 comments:
I can completely relate to what you’re saying, since I went through a lot of the same struggles with my list. But I finally learned that I should only include those who are truly my friends and have a special place in my life, especially since we’re keeping our guest list to no more than 100 people. It was definitely tough, though.
I can't even imagine only having one 100 people. We wanted our wedding to be intimate but I have a really big family and really annoying parents. lol.
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