The Proposal (its not really a creative title)

In my quest to procrastinate from studying ( I have a debate and an online quiz tomorrow) I realized that I did not share proposal story. Is the title of my blog labeled Bridezilla or not? lol...

Neways it happened on a Thursday which happens to be my long day...I was wearing this grey shirt/sweater from H&M that I thought was tres cute at the time but now its so-so and a pair of jeans. Nothing spectacular...especially not when you're about to become engaged to the love of your life...Neways, we agreed that he would pick me up at middle location because he wanted to go eat out. We had agreed to eat out the next day but since he said he burned the food he wanted to do it that night.

I call him during a break from my class and he changes the plans again, which is not uncommon for him. He is very capricious hence why I call him the Capricious One. Of course I don't mind, I hate taking public transportation. He picks me up in front of the library and its like normal. I talk about my day which includes any gossip or whatever. We park in front of the restaurant and he runs up to the door. Again, this might seem weird to others but anything is possible with the Capricious One. I run after him and the Maitre'D welcomes us. We opt to sit at the bar and order long islands. It has been a long day and I relish the thought of the drink. The Maitre'D boasts about how he makes the best Long Islands. I roll my eyes but agree. I head to the bathroom and come back to find my drink waiting for me. Surprisingly enough, its really good. I order a second one.

The singer (what is the appropiate title, lounge singer?) is singing all these songs...I remember he sang Mother in Law. I wasn't really paying attention, all my concentration was on my drink...oh and my man. I distinctly remember telling him that the size doesn't really matter at this point. I just want to get engaged and married, we can always upgrade later. I mean I didn't want a teensy diamond but I did want a diamond. He agrees with me and then the singer sings Unforgettable.

He asks me to dance and I say yes somewhat hesitantly. I am not sure how tipsy I am at this point. We sway in each others arms and he tells me all this mushy stuff that makes me blush...well if I could blush...i'm completely absorbed in the moment and enjoying this rare date. Suddenly he is on his knee and I narrow my eyes and whisper for him to get up while looking around. He is always playing jokes and I'm pretty sure he got on his knee in the supermarket.

He whips out the ring box and at that point I realize that this is real. I'm really getting engaged and one day I will really get married to him. It was so surreal and I feel like I had an out of body experience. I honestly do not remember saying yes. In my memory, I took the ring. He said that He put the ring on my finger. Whatever. In either case, the ring was on my finger and I hugged him and I realized there were other people in the restaurant when I heard clapping. A little embarrasssing but fun at the same time...

Turns out the whole thing was planned, everyone knew when I walked in that I was getting engaged. Even his mom and brother knew and his mom wanted to be there. But my babe said, this is between me and my future wife. I just had to write that, it was so cute. And he was supposed to do it the next day, turns out he got impatient and proposed a day earlier...lol...is he not capricious?

The ring: its absolutely gorgeous, I love it so much. I sit in class sometimes and stare at it and then I look around to make sure that no one saw me do it. The best thing about the ring is that he picked it out all by himself and it symbolizes something important to both of us. OF course, I did not get it, he had to clue me in.

Well thats it, thats the proposal story...it should be made into a movie...yup a short indepedent film...I dont know who should play me though. I like Malinda Williams from Soul Food but she's short.

Past friends

So I was checking a FWD that someone sent (which I absolutely HATE...do not send me FWDs, not in text or email) and I noticed an old friend's email. I have not spoken to this person in forever and I didn't know their email account was still active.
Me and this person used to be the best of friends. We met in choir and were inseparable until about a year ago. It seems to me like after she got married, our friendship changed.

Neways, I emailed her and it took her a lil while to email me back. She basically said I never called her and she was tired of always being the one to call. She said I never wanted to hang out with her, and how though her number changed, her email never did. So I discussed this with my FI and he was like she's just trying to be in your wedding...lol...I emailed her back because we used to be so close. It was funny because my mom asked about her around that time also. I emailed her back and basically told her what was going on. I don't talk to my other best friends that much either but we are still cool. We just have a friendship where we don't have to talk every single day but we do keep in touch. They are busy as well as me and that helps our frienship get stronger b/c we are pursing different dreams. Whatever, where was I? Oh yes...Then I was pissed about the my email never changed bit because email was never a big part of our relationship b/c they never had internet...When I wanted to talk to her I called her, not email.

In my email response to her I basically said that she was not the only person that I did not call often. The only people who I called frequently were my classmates...if you can't help me figure out what my reading for the week is, I have nothing to say to you...lol...Once I changed schools, I changed jobs and this one had worst hours and horrible pay and it seemed like if I wasn't at school, i was at work...I never took off b/c i needed to pay rent and other bills. She would call me to hang out but I was working...or I was tired...I only saw my roommates b/c...they lived with me...then there was the whole thing with my phone always getting cut off like every other month....jeez my life was a mess then...

She hasn't emailed me back yet for about six days...not that I am counting...my email told me...lol...I dont think the email was disrespectful...I was trying to be candid.

I don't want to say that I don't care if we are friends or not because that sounds super callous, but I'm not losing sleep over it. It obviously bothers me a little bit because I am writing about it now. Things kinda just fizzled out and it is sad. I was in her wedding and I always assumed that when my time came she would participate in mine. I will extend an invitation to her and her husband but...like the french say, C'est la vie!!

They say everything has a season....maybe our season is over...maybe not...She's not the first friend I lost this year and she probably won't be the last. People grow apart...(of course this does not apply to S and M...we are best friends forever...I've known you guys since the third and fourth grade!! You don't carry someone around the playground at recess and never talk to them again...its not natural).

Plus when I think about it now, I think I was a little co-dependent on her...I think we both were but once she got her husband she didnt need me anymore. We were always together, we talked on the phone constantly...I always needed her approval it seemed like...And the one time I couldn't get it, it seemed our friendship changed. When I moved to Philly and she got married, our lives went in different ways. Up til then, we always had similar life experiences. Now our life experiences are not parallel. We don't have as much in common anymore...

Oh jeez...

Just a quick note: I decided to follow this guy's blog because he does it all in french...I am trying to sharpen up my french speaking skills...they aer quite rusty...But I never read his posts! They are just accumulating and I don't know how to delete...That was soo uninteresting but I thought I would share...You are reading this and I never promised you that my life was always exciting...
Ok thats it for now..

Slow progress

So writing in a blog is not as fun as I originally thought. I think of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City when i think of bloggers. Yes I realize she was a columnist but is that not what bloggers are also; online columnists? Anyways progress is slow on the wedding front due to school and my procrastination skills.

I did get an exciting package from one of my reception sites and it was sooo good! They allow outside caterers and...the total price did not make the FI cringe...he was actally nodding in agreement...That has been the most exciting thing so far...

I was on Nordstrom.com and looked through their bridesmaid collection. There were two that I liked and seemed something the girls might be apt to wear again. I am looknig for something that people will want to wear afte the wedding. I thought about doing black dresses but its just seems so dull for a summer wedding that may possibly be outside...

On a completely different note, my 25th is coming up. I want to celebrate this milestone and do it up a little different from years past. I have been frantically searching for my birthday outfit. I have never bought myself anything for my birthday, I always end up wearing something from my closet. So far it will be good seeing as I will celebrate it with my fiance, so thats alreay a step up from last year. Well actually anything is a step up from last year. I was held hostage in my home and spent the day watching t.v. No cake, nothing!!! I was broke also so I didnt venture out of my maison.

I have scouring the internet for dress sales and new locations. I wanted to upload some but have no clue how to go about that.




Look at that!! Just figured it out...lol...I dont like the color, I dont think it will look good against my skin, but i like the style...plus I have nothing else like it in my closet...



This one is different but I am partial to strapless dresses....Im trying to stay away from black though...





ANother black!! I can't help it...old habits die hard...

ok i'm done...the dresses are black too..I'm so happy I learned how to addd pictures to my blog...fun stuff....

My inner Erin Brocovitch...

Ok So I used to think that I was this big movie buff. I always say that I love movies but in actuality, I have seen like 1% of the world's movies...I support African American films and all romantic comedies but my fiance always looks at me with disgust when he finds out what kinds of movies i have never seen (I'm not going to list them for fear of rejection and judgment). Neways, we were watching Erin Brocovitch last night when I was supposed be doing reseach homework. I've heard of said movie but never saw it. I am so glad that I finally saw it. My favorite line in the whole movie is : Bite my ass, Krispie Kremes!!"

She became my shero last night. She didn't care what anyone thought of her and always said what was on her mind. She also wore these crazy outfits that made all the females at her job hate her but that was mainly because they were all determined as my fiance would say. Half of the things that came out of her mouth were ridiculous but she always had a valid point. We live in a society where its so easy to care what others think. I have finally realized that people think about you less than you think, EXCEPT for your haters. They think about you all the time. I actually don't know if I have any haters right now, nor do I care but its kind of an ego booster to think that someone is always worrying about what you do. Ok, back to what I was saying, I have always been a very nice girl. I mind my manners and the whole nine. And sometimes I am so much nicer than I should be to people. If you knew what thoughts I had in my head, you would be completely and utterly shocked. Its so funny because my fiance (who will be refered as FI from here on out), my FI is like the male version of Erin Brocovitch who was played by Julia Roberts by the way. She is soo hot, she looked really good. Anyways, he is like her and he gets annoyed when I try to cage my inner Erin Brocovich. So my goal is not to necessarily become a bitch but to be more open with my feelings.

Anyways on the wedding front, I am following the DC Nearlyweds blog (its pretty good, you should read it sometime, http://www.dcnearlyweds.com/2008/11/i-like-your-shoooeeessss.html) and she was talking about her wedding shoes. Someone mentioned this shoe website http://www.6pm.com. I glanced at it briefly. It has some big names on there and on sale. Check it out. I might buy some for the upcoming holidays...or send FI my wish list...You should also look at http://www.edressme.com. They have some cute dresses for every occasion and they have designers like Nicole Miller and BCBG...blah blah blah...I am on my clothing and shoe kick right now aren't I? Just go with it.
Tout a l'heure!!!

Friends and Family

I am here at work reflecting on stuff instead of getting my schoolwork done. I was thinking about my last entry and how I wanted to elaborate more on my bridesmaid/family situation. I think sometimes I make things too complicated. My fiance tells me that all the time. A simple answer never satisfies me. Out of everything that I have said, this answer is from the heart and it rings true. Simple as that. I chose the five girls to walk in my wedding because I wanted to be surrounded by people whose characters I am comfortable and familiar with and who truly know me. I have a history with these girls and we have been through life together in some shape or form. These are the people who will have to take me to the bathroom and help me lift my dress up! lol...You know the saying, friends are family that you picked yourself. I think I am finally over the guilt of choosing and not choosing. The people I chose are a natural choice because they don't just know me as cousin or etc, they know everything about me.

Exciting new for me at least. I found a few venues that allow outside caterers. Now all I have to do is call them. I'm done stressing over this wedding. Seriously.

Introducing Ms Phillydizzi...

Let’s see…where I should start…ok I guess with the obvious. I am a twenty four year old vibrant graduate student. Correction, I used to be vibrant, now I am just tired. I am a full time student and I work part time in a gym. My schedule doesn’t sound that demanding but at times it is. I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to sit and have access to a computer and internet.

Last month, I got engaged to the love of my life. I know that sounds completely cliché but its true! The moment he entered my life, everything fell into place. And I don’t mean life suddenly became easier or whatever. We just started living our lives seamlessly intertwined. I would apologize for the mushy details but since this is a blog about my wedding, it’s practically a prerequisite. We met at a party and I cannot say that we immediately fell in love. One reason being there were a lot of other people at the party and it was hard to sit and just talk. Once we started hanging out, I had a magnetic pull to him that is hard to put into words. I knew he would be an important aspect of my life, I just was not sure in what capacity little did I know that I would be getting ready to marry this guy. Six months passed with us going on our separate paths. He was dating other people and I was in the middle of a fast from men because I was so thoroughly disgusted with the men that were crossing my path and that I was letting cross my path. It’s so easy to place blame on others but I have to take full responsibility to allowing some of these losers into my life. As I was saying, six months later, our paths crossed and voila!
Forward to the present and I guess you could say that I am in the beginning stages of wedding frenzy.

I have an idea of what I want my wedding to look like but I have already encountered people who think they have a real opinion on what will go on. I am not in any sense a Bridezilla. I am introverted and soft-spoken but I have been told that I can be a bitch sometimes. I have been (both as a guest and bridesmaid) to enough weddings to know that it is my and my fiancé’s day and I want every decision we make to reflect that.

It is not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings at all. I love my friends and family but…I don’t know where I was going with that thought. Some people have expressed to me an interest in walking in my wedding. I have decided who I want to be my bridesmaids. They consist mostly of my sister, some friends and my future sister-in-law. I have decided to leave out cousins just because I do not want to have to choose between sibling cousins. Having bridesmaids are not a necessity. They are a nice addition to a wedding but do I really need ten girls walking before me? This does a few things for me:
1. It prolongs my entrance to walk towards my future-to-be
2. It creates more opinion when it comes to the color and style of the dress
3. It requires more time for me to take out of my day to call slackers who have not bought their dress by the designated time table.

I know what I am talking about; I have been a bridesmaid too many times. In the weddings I have been a part of, I was unable to participate as fully as I wanted due to financial constraints. Obviously I will have people who are important to me and who I know will help and not hinder my big day. I would rather the people that I did not pick, be there for me in other ways. It’s not a diss to anyone; it’s just the way I feel. I’m glad I got that off my chest; I was really worrying about that one. I know someone will get mad, but that’s life. I’m done trying to make everyone happy.

The wedding I envision has about one hundred guests in an outside reception hall. I grew up in a huge church and both of my parents have large extended families. I do not know many of them nor have I talked to many of them in a long time. I do not want some anonymous person at my wedding just because. Weddings cost money and I would rather spend it on people that will actually see the course of my marriage. I’m having a hard time deciding about old classmates and new classmates. I love my new classmates but I want to invite those who I will actually still talk to after we graduate.

I was on the internet and saw advertising for Lynn Lugo in Martha Stewart’s wedding section. She has this online tool where you can customize your bridesmaid dresses. And unlike so many of the other designers I have found, she allows you many color options. My colors are almond and eggplant (well…yesterday it was plum and champagne, I think). Her dresses had both colors provided with coordinating sashes. The problem is her dresses cost around two hundred dollars. I never paid that much for a dress and I don’t want to force anyone else to either. What I like about her site is; it’s easy to have the girls pick dresses they like in the colors I choose. Check out the site: http://www.lynnlugobridal.com/dresses

Oh almost forgot! When I started telling people about my color scheme I got a few eyebrow raises from some unimaginative people. Turns out David’s bridal has an online tool where you can create your dream wedding. I absolutely love it! You can create outfits for everyone in the wedding using dresses from their actual collection. It’s good for seeing different color schemes and to help decide on a color. Just go to http://www.davidsbridal.com/ and register as a member so that you can use it. You can even change hairstyles, facial features, veils, shoes, jewelry…I’m getting excited again.