Wedding Related Family Drama #1

I labeled this Wedding Related Family Drama #1 because knowing my family, there will be a 2, 3, 4, and 5...
So I went home last week to help out with my mom. She had recently had surgery for a shunt revision in her head and she was not allowed to do anything at home. I went home to be helpful but not really sure how helpful I was. While there, my dad wanted to talk to me about my wedding plans and perhaps veto any of my ideas. I went into the conversation sure that he was going to berate me, so I was on defensive mode. It was a pretty pleasant conversation surprisingly, as this never happens when he is included in the conversation. We talked about the budget, the reception venue, the church, caters, and etc. Then he dropped the D-bomb. Dancing. "I don't want to participate in any dancing. So if there will be any dancing, please let me know now." he said in a firm voice.
I shrugged my shoulders and fingered my parent's comforter. "There's gonna be dancing."
He shrugged as well and said, "Then I will be there at the ceremony but after that I am going home."
Really?! Seriously!? I'm not gonna lie, my first reaction was whatever, I wasn't going to dance with you anyway. But then my best friend pointed out to me later that it would look odd if my father was not present for the parental introduction or pictures. Then she and I got into some verbal disagreement about my father and how I should handle it. But I digress. My fiance is Nigerian and dancing is big in all of their events. I just love to dance. I was never allowed to dance when I was younger and I refuse to let other people dictate my wedding! I never realized how much my dad did not like dancing, as he has sat through countless weddings with dancing during the reception. I don't understand why he can't sit through mine. I love my dad but we have too much of this control stuff in our history. But the good thing about him is that he'll say one thing now and then backtrack later. So I'll just address the issue at a later date and see what changes. My bff did bring up the compromise that maybe he could sit through dinner and then the dancing could commence after that. I'm not as hardheaded as some may believe me to be, I can compromise on certain things. We'll see.
Then we started talking about how many people were invited. Apparently 140 is not enough people for them. The venue can actually hold 200 but my fiance and I were trying to trick them into inviting less people. So far, not working. My dad feels strongly that he should have 100 guests, but he keeps forgetting that my friends are also part of this 100. My head hurts.

Today my mom called and asked if I could change the reception venue. I was pissed and then my phone signal faded. Stupid MetroPCS. Lol. I had to unleash my inner Bridezilla and calmly tell her that no, I would not be changing my venue, it is what I want. The only way they will listen to me is if I act like that, otherwise they will try to run all over me.

I don't know what posesessed us to plan a wedding. I start my second rotation soon and will have to start studying for my boards right before the wedding. We should have ran to city hall and ignored any outbursts. 8 months to go and I'm not sure I will make it.
Any wedding related family drama to share and how did it get resolved?

Flower centerpieces...

I've been searching for a florist in a lazy kind of way. I looked up some places on Theknot.com and asked my cousin, who just got married two weeks ago, who did hers. I don't really know much about flowers, all I know is they are pretty and I want lots of purple. The ceiling at my reception site is really high so I was thinking that I should have tall centerpieces. Here are a few that I found that I thought were cute and/or interesting:


















I love the look of flowers floating in the water, it is so pretty to me. And the wine bottle with the personalized picture is a really nice touch. The last picture has the apples in the stem of the vase and that is really cute!

Low centerpieces: My roommate had a centerpiece similar to the first one with red roses. It was really economical as well, as she bought bushels from Costco/Sam's Club and we assembled them ourselves. They were so simple and so elegant. Unlike other weddings, I have been to, I still remember her centerpieces. I also love the last one, the white vase is such a stark contrast to the cream flowers and the greenery. You can tell I'm a flower novice, I have no idea what the greenery is...lol...
So many pretty flowers and choices! I must say, I have loved the floating flower set up since the first moment I laid eyes on it.
What kind of centerpieces are you envisioning for your big day?

Guests List Grievance

So I thought I finalized my guest list and was pretty happy about it. I finished my first rotation and of course since I loved everybody, I wanted them all to come to my wedding. But the thing is, we agreed on 140 guests for both sides. While I do want all my friends there, I have to be aware that my family has to come as well. This whole guest list is super hard and its driving me crazy. I don't want to forget anyone! I'm making a list again and just cutting people out as I go along.
There are people that I was close to in the past but haven't spoken to in a long time. Should I invite them anyway? Do I have to invite couples? For instance, I am really close to the wife but don't really have a relationship with the groom. Is it rude to only invite the wife? I know I would be mad if someone didn't invite my husband, as we go everywhere together. I tried to solve this quandary on Theknot.com but didn't find any answers. Any suggestions? I think I answered this question already. But really, how can I make the guest list thing easier?

Busy Little Wedding Bee!

My mom was in the hospital so I came home to NY to put my OT skills to work and spend some time with her. My family has finally caught up and now all everybody wants to talk about is the upcoming wedding. Mind you, I have been talking about the wedding with my friends and other people for a while now. Since I'm not in rotations right now, I have some free time to do "wedding stuff". I've been online looking up stuff for what seems like forever.
Keep your fingers crossed but I may have found my videographer on craigslist. His quote is really inexpensive but fits right into my budget. So we'll see how that goes. His videos were not perfect but I'm sure I can provide him with constructive criticism. My main concern is the photographer, I love pictures and want mine to look amazing...I stumbled across this site Kiss the Groom. The pictures are amazing, I am really impressed.
I also found this site called Egala and it features real couples and their weddings. I am all about real life weddings!
I am meeting with the church where we are having ouir ceremony on Friday. Our date is open and its a beautiful church. Hopefully all goes well! My father and I have not sat down to talk about my wedding but I have discussed it at length with my mother. I'm not scared anymore so I am welcoming the conversation. I know this blog is about not being a bridezilla, but in his case I have to be one to get what I want.

Not sure if you all knew but I am having a Nigerian-Haitian wedding. I saw my first Nigerian wedding last weekend and it was a lot of fun! I got to wear a traditional outfit and everything! So we are in the process of trying to incorporating both cultures into one seamless, elegant, and fun wedding!

9 Months to Go!! says The Knot...

9 months still doesn't feel that close to me but I know in terms of wedding planning, I have too many things to do in too little time. Not sure if its a good thing but I am not feeling any stress. I'm a procrastinator so I'm sure this is a bad thing.
I have been going back and forth on the bridesmaid dresses. The ones I really wanted cost around $200 and I don't want to make my ladies pay that much for a dress that (lets be realistic) they may never wear again. I also liked the Jcrew dresses and finally got them an appointment later this month. It was a nightmare dealing with for whatever reason. I thought my appointment was made and it never was...blah blah blah...The only thing I'm worried about is if they really do have a variety of sizes in their selection. I want everyone to feel comfortable. And I also just received my color swatch from Jcrew in the mail and I was pretty disapointed at "spiced wine". It wasn't purple-ly enough.

When I first got engaged, I swore up and down I would not use David's Bridal. But it seems I must renege on my word. I have finally found a few dresses that I actually like and there is a DB's everywhere. One of my MOH is going away to medical school upstate and I was worried about getting in dress fittings before then.
Here are my favorite dresses: The first one is geared towards my MOHs and the second is for the BM's. I like the color right now but I am worried that it will look different when I see the actual fabric in the store. My next step is to schedule an appointment in the store.






We finally sent in our security deposit for our reception venue. Unfortunately, I have not been able to contact the manager just to confirm my date. I'm in my rotation all day and when I get out, she is gone. I've also emailed her and no response as of yet.

What else is new? Its been such a long time since my last posting...Oh yeah! I've added another girl to my bridal party. She's my good friend from college and she actually helped me pick out my wedding dress. Welcome to the wedding mania, T!! So far, she has been very helpful. It doesn't hurt that she was just in a wedding last month, hehe.
Next on my agenda: I have to talk to my parents and get them more involved in my wedding, as per the suggestion of my FMIL. Not looking forward to it at all. But it must be done.
Thats all for now folks!

One Lovely Blog Award: Please check to see who I nominated!!

Tambride013010 nominated me for One Lovely Blog Award. I am very excited because this is my first blog award ever and I've been on a bit of a hiatus so I am pleasantly surprised. Thank you Tambride for this lovely nomination, you really just made my day! You also helped to light the fire under my ass to continue to blog more regularly. I know this isn't an awards ceremony, but why shouldn't I get the chance to say my thank yous? Lol...I would like to thank my fiance, because he gave me the inspiration to start blogging and my writing career.
So I guess I should pass on the torch to nine lovely women!! Here they are:
1. The Quiet Bride
2. The Relentless Bride
3. The Buckeye Bride
4. Quarter Life Calm
5. One Bride, One Groom, and a Broom
6. Does This Come In Pink?
7. I Do Black Love! Or I do: Black Love
8. Iva Messy
9. Army Brat Bride


I love all these blogs for different reasons: some speak to my soul, others help me with the crazy wedding world, others make me laugh, and others help me to save money. We may write about different things but we all have one thing in common: BLOGGING!!
That was too corny, I know...oh well...Enjoy and pass on the love.

I'm BACK!!!!

I have been MIA for the past month due to starting my first rotation. I never knew "working" for eight hours could be so exhausting~ I say "working" because I'm not getting paid! Lol...Its getting harder juggling rotations, schoolwork, and wedding planning but I shall make it work!
Updates on the wedding: Sending in my deposit check to hold my wedding date. I will let you know the date after they get the money. Sorry, I'm weird like that. I don't want it to get changed again.
I am trying to multi-task and not stay away so long again. Until next time.